Monday, January 26, 2009

I have this girlfriend who, since I've turned (maybe 28) or so, has always reminded me of my age. It's not unusual for me to knock a year or so off, or add a year or so on (I know, that's crazy!!!). Well, I think for the past 6 months I have been saying, OUT LOUD, "I'm going to be 33 this year, it's time for me to think about getting healthier". 33. So for at least 6 months, everyone who knows me (her in particular, hehe) has been cruelly letting me believe that I am turning 33. UGH!!! (Just kidding Jewels ;) But seriously, it was a reality check when I did the math. I called her immediately. It's a good thing that I got her voice mail. I left my panicked message and asked her to call me back to confirm. Ok, so as the story goes, I am NOT turning 33 this year. I am turning 34. Ouch. That was even difficult to write. Here's what it is: I am in an amazing marriage. Seriously, I am married to my soul mate, my best friend. We are so totally in love still after 10 years (that seems strange to write, but it's such a milestone these days). I have 2 beautiful, brilliant, funny and amazing children. My world is filled with beautiful friends who inspire me, confide in me, support me and stand by me. (and back at you, my girls). So this issue that I seem to be having with my age seems to be gnawing at me for one particular reason. I feel like I am at the age where I need to realize that "this is what it is all about". I am not a teenager anymore, and although my metabolism still, somewhat works in my favour, I won't ever be a size 0 again. (do i really want to be, anyway?). My career is one that I love. Is this where I want to stay. Til retirement? I don't know. I am truly thankful that I've lived long enough to enjoy these almost 34 years. My Mom passed away when she was 21. I often think of her and it sobers me. Be happy. I'm healthy, I'm happy, I have been through some of the most difficult things, things that statistically should have broken me. (which should be another post in itself, but I won't, lol). Sooooooooo, after all the blathering, does anyone have any advice on how to just look at the bright side of aging? I see the physical changes in my body and when I see young girls, they remind me of me. Most days I still feel like I'm in my 20's. Most days I still act like it, lol. So do I let social standards affect me, or do I continue to live my life exactly the way that I feel inside?


Deborah said...

hehehe...I could have told you how old you are...three years older than my oldest! So, while you're doing some math....I was 20 when Dana was born, so that makes me....much older than you. Aside from that bit of useless trivia, I have no answers for your questions, but it sounds to me like you have a wonderful life!
I don't know all that you went through growing up, and I wish I could have been there for you....but you have obviously come through it a very strong and giving person.

Mama D said...

Go with how you feel. We short people never look our age anyway! :)