Life in Sandyland

Circle of Life

2010-05-21T07:02:00.002-05:00

So you hear it said, a soul leaves the earth and one enters the earth. The day that I received the devestating news that I must consider euthanasia for my beloved Kiska, is the same day that I learned that a sweet little furry friend of mine had given birth to 4 beautiful puppies. I was far to devestated to even consider falling for the sweet little things....but amazingly, that's what happened. However, I must state that if it weren't for my boys, I would never, ever have entertained the idea of another dog. NOPE. My Kiska was my girl for 15 years and in my head, I couldn't hurt her by getting another dog.
In the hours leading up to my final goodbye to my sweet girl, I loved her larger than life and spoiled her rotten. In her life, she didn't get much for table scraps, except veggies and rice because she would get nasty poo's if she had table meat. So, on her final day, I had made up a plate for her to enjoy. On it was bbq'd steak and chicken, baby potatoes slathered with butter, garlic shrimp, mussles, bacon wrapped scallops and broccoli salad with bacon. Oh yes, she was in Heaven! Then for lunch she had a piece of loaded pizza. She was so full that she had no room in her tummy for the crust that my sweet little boy offered her. That made me very happy. My girl hadn't eaten much in the week prior to her passing, so I feel peace knowing that her last meal was amazing and that she left this world feeling like the Princess that I knew she always was. I spent the hour before her passing holding her in my arms and stroking her body. She kept looking up at me and had her big, open-mouthed smile on her face. I know that she was truly in her happy place and that for the first time in I don't know when, she was pain free and peaceful in my arms. When Sherri, the vetrinarian, arrived, I totally lost it. I held Kiska so close, like somehow I could transfer enough of my love to her that I could just look up and say, sorry bout that but we won't be needing your services anymore....she's all better.
Sherri, from Wheat City Vet Clinic, is, in my opinion, the most amazing animal doctor that I have ever met. I thank God that I found her when I needed someone like her most. She has been the perfect amount of everything that I've needed through this journey with my constant, gentle friend. She made the transition for Kiska from this world to her ever after so gentle, so quick, so peaceful and most importantly, so painless. Kiska literally went to sleep in my arms. There was no big breath. There was no gasping. There was no muscle give nor nerve give. It was just like that. I had my fingers buried in her beautiful coat and felt her tummy rise and fall for the last time.
Sherri let myself and my hubbin spend some time with her before she came back into the room. Even then, she gave me time, as I was losing my mind. It felt like someone kicked me in the stomach. I've had so much death and loss in my life...but I've never had the chance to bond with someone for so long and become so close, spend so much time. I really feel like I've lost my best friend. Life certainly is not the same without Kiska. Having said that, I truly believe that she is in a much, much better place now. I got to enjoy her for 15 years and now I know that my Mom will continue giving her the same love until I join her.
Until then, remember those puppies that I spoke of in the beginning of this post? Well, I brought our little white fluff ball home on Tuesday. And she is amazing. Kiska has made owning a dog such a beautiful experience that it's an honour to her for us to take on another puppy. If she had been a horrible experience, there would be no way I could or would do it. Was it too soon after Kix's passing? I don't think so. Not for us anyway. We all miss Kiska very, very much and our new little Isis will never, ever be Kiska. But she is Isis. She is 7 1/2 weeks old and she is a good, good pup. She sleeps in a kennel beside my bed at night time in which I place a warm water bottle and a stuffed toy that the boys picked out from the pet store. During the day, she hangs out and someone is always home to catch her before she piddles on the floor. She yelp-cries when she has to poo...giving lots of warning that she wants to do her business outside and she loves it outside! I can't say enough good things about her. She is going to be a very, very smart dog and she will (I will make sure of it) be trained just like Kiska and Maija. I am confident that she is going to be a special part of our family. She already is. I credit Kiska that I have the knowledge and patience that I have with Isis. Oh she was so smart and taught me so much about owning a dog. I feel confident and sure as I enter the world of puppy. So thank you, my Kiska Angel. I feel her spirit in this home and I am grateful for that.
I know I haven't spoken much about my other love, my Maija. Maija grew up with Kiska. We did not allow her to be in the house while Kiska was leaving this world. Maija is a mama to the core and she would have been alternating between panic and anxiety and the need to help her sister. So when everything was over and Kiska was taken away, we spent time with Maija outside. Actually, I pretty much lived outside that weekend and she never left my side. Something we both needed, I think. She is adjusting well. My husband and I kind of think that she is suspicious of him because she wanted to come into the house and he kept saying no. Then when she comes in, her sister is gone. Hmmmmm. Fishy, hey? Anyway, Maija is adjusting to the pup well and seems to be enjoying the extra Mommy time that I've been able to give her. She finally ate her dog food last night - she went almost a week without eating, poor girl.
It's funny, you know? Lots of people believe lots of things about the soul and spirit of animals. Some people believe that they have no soul and that they are here purely for our enjoyment. Well, I definately believe that they are here for our enjoyment now, but I also believe that all animals are God's creatures and that they, too enjoy a beautiful, perfect afterlife.

"For the soul of every living thing is in the hand of God" Job 12:10

Rest In Peace my beautiful Princess. Mommy will always love you and will always hear your tick tacks on the floor! OXOXO

Tag...I'm It!

2010-05-02T21:17:00.003-05:00

This is my first tag on something like this, so I thought, hey, what the heck! The questions come from Jen and so here are my answers:

If you could go anywhere for a vacation, money no object, where would you go and why? Who would you take with you?
Money is no object, you say? Well then, I would for sure go with my husband and children on a resort vacation. This way we could all enjoy the experience, which would be our very first holiday like this, and a high end resort offers childcare so that when hubbins and I felt the need to have "us" time, we could and we'd know the kids were having a ball!

What has been your biggest challenge as an adult?
Knowing that it's my responsibility to have all the answers and not having a Mom to help me out.

What are you currently reading? What led you to that book?
Emergence Labeled Autistic -- a true story by Temple Grandin
I was at the Autism Conference, saw this book, read the back and had to have it. Why? Autism absolutely fascinates me. I am intrigued and compelled to read stories such as this because they are true and they provide me with insight into the mystery of Autism. We can learn the most about any childhood disorder by going straight to the source. Often this is not possible, so when I can, I do.

What is one thing you will never ever ever eat? Why?
Caviar for obvious reasons!! Oh, and any type of insect. Again, for obvious reasons!

It is Sunday morning, 10:00 AM. What are you doing?
Sipping on a delicious cup of coffee, pretending that the snow that is coming down outside is actually just the flower blooms blowing in the breeze.

Which is more important to you? A tidy home or a clean home? Is there a difference to you?
A clean home, without a doubt. I have long let go of the foolish notion that I may have a tidy home while I have little people living here. However, I believe that my boys should not feel like they can't be children because I am over-anal about tidiness. (is that a word?). Sooooo, there's only a couple of rooms in my house that I prefer to be toy free. The rest of the house is fair game. BUT, whatever mess they make, they have to clean.

If you were given a full-ride scholarship to the post-secondary institution of your choice, where would you go?
I'm not sure exactly, but it would have something to do with children and development. Maybe a specialist in child development ... I have always looked up to the doctors that come here for Child Development Clinic. They are brilliant.

What courses would you take?
Well unfortunately there would be sciences in there. GROSS. But there would be psychology and anatomy too, which would be neat.

Would you rather go to an action movie or a girly movie?
A girly movie. I get enough action and anxiety provoking moments in my daily life. I like to just sit back and enjoy some fluffy moments.

If/when you start to grow grey hair, will you wear it with pride or dye it into submission?
So far, I just go with it. Because I think that my Aunties and Uncles on the Blair side are all very good looking with their greys. If I could wear it with as much grace and beauty as they do, bring it on!!!

Dogs or cats?
Yoink. What if they find out I've chosen one over the other??
I truly do love them both. I think they both have their place and I get great amounts of enjoyment from both.

That was fun!! Not sure what I'm supposed to do now....link my blog to Jen's, I think. I don't know how to do that. :o(

Angie, you are awesome!

2010-03-25T16:52:00.006-05:00

Angie is a fellow knitter/crafter that I met here http://www.ravelry.com/ and a person to whom I look forward to chatting with via messaging. Through these messages, I discovered her blog, and replied to a post that she made where she was asking to do a swap. She wanted a hand-made bag to carry her knitting in and in return I got some yarn-y goodness, handmade stitch markers, buttons from her personal stash to match the yarn and an incredible sewing book dated back to the early '80's. I am soooo excited to use this wool and add the buttons to it. It almost certainly will become a hat so I will be busy looking for a pattern for it. I was soooo excited when I saw this hanging out of my mailbox that I think I almost peed my pants!

I rushed inside and literally bowled the animals over to get to the front door only to find that the mailbox was empty. I really, really wanted to get this package on Monday or Tuesday b/c I would be the one to receive it. Nooooooo. It had to come today so that Hubbins could get it. So he thinks its funny to play this game with me that it didn't come today. Little did he know that I already knew that it arrived. You see, he was going to play this game of "oh, I thought you were waiting for a box...I totally forgot that this came in the mail". HA!!! Tricks on him, lol!
And this is what I sent to her:

Tomorrow I will clean my house...today I crafted!

2010-03-20T22:56:00.003-05:00

As the title states, today I didn`t do any cleaning whatsoever. Today I crafted. I made 2 bags! (Well, kind of...I finished up one that I had made a long while back). I made one following this recipe http://www.craftleftovers.com/blog/archives/1438 .

Iam unsure yet if I am going to use it as a mini tote for everyday or if (most likely) I will use it as a project bag. It is just adorable, though and it fits the cardigan that I`m currently working on as well as a bottle of water, knitting notions, phone, ipod and a paper pad. It likely fits more, which is exciting because often when I am travelling to a knitting friends home or going out for knit fest, I like to just throw a wallet into my project bag and maybe some lip balm and leave the purse at home. I will post pics tomorrow to show. The outside is made of a chocolate brown cordouroy and the inside is some amazing pink fabric that changes hues depending on the angle that you are seeing it! It`s got two large pockets on each end. I didn`t add buttons to them...if I find that things are falling out, maybe I`ll put a couple of snaps on them. For now I like them as is.
The second bag that I finished is amazing! It`s a knitted, felted tote lined with Chinese brocard (not sure if that`s the right spelling). I only finished it now because my knitting partner had the icord for a couple of months, so I couldn`t put on the handle. Handle done, snap sewn on and a special something on the outside and this baby`s complete! I am torn between the two because I love them both. The knitted one is larger and more practical as an everyday bag, so it will likely win between the two!

I love, love, love being able to make things. It feels like such a sense of accomplishent when I am finished! I am making a cardi that is hopefully going to be a birthday gift for one of my girlfriends, but I tried it on today and I think it`s going to be too small in the shoulders. :(
I guess that means that I may have to keep it...or save it for a birthday gift for another friend who already said she wanted it!!

Just some stuff I've been doing

2010-03-13T15:12:00.002-06:00

Another knitted, felted, lined bag. This one is by far my favorite. It's gone though. These things don't stick around long.

This is a fun hat made from sock yarn. It's so stretchy and light that you can hardly feel it on! I love the way the colours swirl and then go back on themselves. Kind of reminds me of water ripples in the summertime. Can't wait to wear this one out on the cool summer evenings by the water :)

This beautiful thing is called the "Burberry Inspired Cowl" named so because the pattern designer saw this, I believe, in a Burberry Catalogue. It was insanely priced....I'm talking in the hundreds...so she designed one that looks similar. It is made out of Malabrigo Wool which feels like a cashmere hug around the neck. This wool was one of my birthday gifts from Hubbins. At close to $20 a skein, it's not something I have ever been able to just randomly purchase. I will wear this thing forever (because if it's not on me it will, without a doubt, go missing!!!)

When my house is in a state with which I cannot deal, I tend to retreat to my bedroom. It staves off the anxiety provoked panic attack that is sure to come. I can't stand that I spend one of my only 2 days off cleaning up after children who are old enough and capable enough to do it themselves. They are told, time and time again to pick things up, put things away. If you take it out, put it away. If you make a mess, clean it up. If you drop it, pick it up. Such common sense ideas, no? Is this what I get for living in a house filled with males?? Oh Good Lord Help Me!

Lucky for you guys, when I retreat, I tend to take the time to post long awaited pictures of the things that I love to do whenever I have the time.

"We never claimed to be perfect. That means we've learned to be humble"

2010-02-28T19:59:00.002-06:00

This couldn't have been said more perfectly. With permission, I am posting this, as a proud Canadian who is currently swelling with pride for our amazing athletes. This country and all of us in it need be proud. Not just for the amazing talent that we possess, but for being such beautiful people. My heart is shaped like a maple leaf.

"We say “excuse me” and ”I’m sorry”, as well as “please” and “thanks”. Even when it’s not our fault, we apologize.
Sure, one arm of the torch didn’t rise, but when the earthquake struck Haiti, Canadians raised their hands to say “we’ll help”.
And yeah, there’s a fence around the torch, but you can walk right up and shake hands with our Prime Minister, and most famous Canadians. We put Gretzky in the back of a pickup, in the rain, not surrounded by police, and he was okay. And by the way, the “Great One” is Canadian and he wasn’t complaining! We do have security at the Games, of course, but most people don’t even have a gun they have to leave at home.
The medals ARE under lock and key, but our doors and our hearts are open to the world.
It has been pointed out that some buses broke down last week, but let’s not overlook the fact that our banking system didn’t!
We didn’t get the “green ice-maker” right this time, but we will, eventually.
Just like we did when we invented the Zamboni.
Citius altius fortius
If you don’t reach higher, how do you get faster and stronger?
Was the first quad jump perfect?
Should we not have given snowboarding to the world “in case” it didn’t take off?
So big deal one of the four torch arms didn’t rise, good thing we had three more! It’s called contingency planning.!
But remember, the Canada-Arm works every time in outerspace, and insulin turned out to be okay.
We couldn’t change the weather, but maybe we can help to stop global warming.
We don’t have the tax base of the US, or the power of the Chinese, but, per capita, we ponied up for some pretty kiss- ass venues in the worst global recession ever!
Sure, some folks couldn’t afford tickets, but our health care is universal.
We have shown the world that we can raise our voices in celebration and song, but moments later stand in silence to respect a tragic event ….together….spontaneously, and unrehearsed.
What’s more, we don’t need permission from anyone to have a slam poet, fiddlers with piercing’s, and a lesbian singer tell our story to the world, while our multilingual Haitian-born (black) head-of-state shares a box with her First Nations equals.
We’ve shown the world that it doesn’t always rain in Vancouver, that you can strive for excellence, but not get hung up on perfection. And we’ve learned what it feels like to be picked on by some no-name newspaper guy, and we don’t have to take it lying down!
So the point is not the snow, or the hydraulics, or a couple of guys being late to a ceremony.
We know we’re lucky that these are the biggest problems we had to deal with in the last few weeks.
So take your cheap shots, Guardian newspaper and cynics of the world!! We’re bigger and better than that.
What’s more, we’re finally starting to believe it!
Do you believe?

November Knits

2009-12-01T16:14:00.006-06:00

Spiral Hat for Jewels

Ear Flap Hat for Hanna

My first attempt at Fair Isle

Finally a "Meret" for me! Just in time for the snow!

It's Me!

2009-11-17T19:12:00.003-06:00

....and it's been a long time! Not because I have nothing to say, I just don't have any time to say it these days. :(
My boys are both is hockey again this year, however they are no longer in the same league which means a very chaotic, busy schedule. They are absolutley loving it, so that makes it worth the while, of coarse! Ry just had his first tournament this weekend and he thoroughly enjoyed it! They played 3 games which was exhausting for them all. The poor goalie couldn't muster enough energy to play the last game and felt horrible about leaving her team stranded. The coach tried just placing an extra player on the ice which ended up in a score-fest for the other team. So apparently she asked the players if anyone would volunteer to take net. Ry happily said yes (he has secretly always wanted to play his turn in net) so we got him dressed the the goalie gear and when he hit the ice, he was a complete natural. He managed to block 6 out of 8 shots on net!! The other parents in the stands were, of coarse, teasing me cuz if anyone knows anything about the cost of being a goalie, that in itself is enough to make a person faint. Needless to say, Ry was incredibly proud of himself and he ended up getting the player award at the end of the game! He doesn't want to continue in net, but does wish that he could switch off with the goalie now and then! Yikes!
Mas is in his second year of TimBits and he is just a restless spirit on the ice. He has improved to the point where he could join the novice team if it weren't for his age. While the coaches are working with the other children, Mas is off skating, practicing his turns and stops and shots on net. It's all very cute. He is looking super forward to playing his first game. He gets to scrimmage at the Wheat King game on Friday!
As for me, I am now working full time hours, which in this job, is about 50 hours per week with all of the paper work and after hours stuff to do. I am still loving my job but am having issues with some of the therapists and their high-and-mighty attitudes. Unfortunately not everyone shares the same philosophy and that's this: IT'S ALL ABOUT THE KIDS AND THEIR FAMILIES not the big words and the power trips that have been getting in the way. It's very difficult to do your job when there is always somebody who wants to criticize because they are threatened by your passion. That's my perception of it anyway. I don't consider myself to be a threatening person. Passionate, yes. Caring, yes. Good at what I do....YES. So I've been in a pissy mood since last week when the lastest *&$# came in on a perceived incident that wasn't at all the case. It's a bitch of thing to be misunderstood, misconstrued and percieved as somone you aren't. I have been in a funk since. It sux. If there was one thing that I could change about me it would be my inability to deeply personalize that which has been said to me. I wish that I could find the strength within me to say #&@* you, I know who I am, where I come from, and why I do what I do and it's all for the sake of the children. However, I choose (operative word, I suppose) to sit and dwell on the hurtful things and just can't seem to shake it and get past it.
So that's my rant for that.
I am sure to have a very emotional post coming, but I will save that for another day, as I choose (again, operative word) to not think about that for now. In the meantime, I leave you with this quote and thank you for taking the time to read my post/vent.

"Great spirits often meet violent opposition from mediocre minds." ~~Albert Einstein

2009-08-03T10:37:00.002-05:00

It's been almost the entire summer since I've checked in here. My bad. You see, summer always has a way of luring me outside early in the morning and keeping me out until very late at night. I only venture back into the house for necessities...water, washroom, food. Otherwise, once I'm out, I'm out. Especially this year. This weather is perfect for me. I absolutely detest the humid +30 degree weather that we usually get bombarded with. I have a beautiful tan this year, thanks to this weather. My yard and flower gardens look amazing, thanks to this weather. I have visited parks and beaches, explored and enjoyed some very good books. It's been a great summer.
I desparately want to pick up my knitting needles, but am uninspired each time I do so. My vest from, yes, VESTUARY is still in time out. It's been very, very bad. I would love to knit up some noro mitts (I have the most beautiful noro right now). But I just can't seem to get going. I need my knitting friend!!! She always inspires me with her creativity! Hopefully I will be seeing her tonight. It's been a very long time!!!
I had so many things to say and just can't put my thoughts together right now. Could be the boys nattering in my ear right now?!
Sorry for the boring post. I will post later if it comes to me. Just kind of wanted to let you all know that I am still here!!!!
Hope you are all having a wonderful summer and are taking advantage of the tolerable weather!!

Believe

2009-06-09T09:21:00.003-05:00

So something incredibly unbelievable happened a couple of weeks ago. I've been too lazy to post anything. I'm sorry.
I have embarked on a journey that will likely take me a very long time to finish, but in the end it will be well worth the trial. I am putting my life down on paper. Mostly for my boys' sake, so that they will know everything and there will be no more secerets. I have spent many, many years seeking answers to the mysteries of this person that I call Sandra. Who am I, where did I come from, what was the journey and how do I survive?
One piece of this puzzle was for me to speak to the people who were important to my Mom. The ones whom she called a friend and who were maybe close enough to her that she confided her deepest, darkest secrets. I suspect there were many.
So I took a leap. I have this picture of my Mom and a beautiful young lady sitting with her. My Dad tells me the story of how, in 1976 my Mom went into a very short remission from her cancer and she asked him to take her to meet this penpal that she had only ever corresponded with through mail. This was her wish and so my Dad made it come true, God Bless him.
Two provinces later, my Mom was united with this penpal and the friendship that had developed through letters proved as solid as they hoped.
33 years later, I have found her!!!! After searching every site possible, googling her name, etc, I decided to write the town that she lived in 33 years ago. I simply told them that I was looking for this person, why and asked if they could email me back either way.
Not even a week later, I received an email from THIS PERSON!!!
She sent me a picture of my Mom that had been given to her, and in return I sent her the picture that I had of the two of them.
She is the most incredible person. So kind and her beauty rosonates through her words that she writes to me on a regular basis.
She has been looking high and low to try and find some letters that my Mom had written to her. Can you IMAGINE????? OMG! It may seem strange to most people, but having lost her when I was 2 years old, having some sort of memento of her, something that I could read and re-read and actually get a feel for her and her personality...it's not even something that I can put words to. It is all I've wanted, all my life.
I have learned that you just have to put yourself out there. Take the risk and accept that it may not turn out the way you hoped. But have faith. Look at what faith got me.

Sharing

2009-06-07T20:31:00.002-05:00

If I share, will it make summer come???? Or maybe even spring??
A friend made this drink for me while I was having a visit at her house. She assured me that it was incredible. One sip had me hooked. It's completely guilt-free and you won't feel your thighs growing with each sip you take!! or maybe I'm the only one with that problem...

Strawberry Cloud
2/3 C. frozen strawberries
2/3 C. light vanilla soy
2 tsp fat free french vanilla coffeemate powdered creamer, disolved in 1 oz of warm water
1 oz sugar free strawberry syrup
3 packets of splenda
3-4 ice cubes or 1/2 C. crushed ice
2 Tbsp fat free redi whip

toss this all into a blender, blend until smooth and enjoy!

Here's what I did, as I didn't have all the ingredients that it called for:
handful of strawberries
eyeballed aproximately 2/3 C. skim milk
splash of sugar free french vanilla syrup
splash of sugar free strawberry syrup
handful of ice
a couple of good shakes of the vanilla coffee mate

I blended this up until it was smooth. It wasn't as creamy as my friend's but it was still incredible and the whole family enjoyed this. Kind of put a bright side to all of this cold, nasty weather that we've been having. Enjoy!!

Finally!

2009-04-26T19:58:00.002-05:00

I have been meaning to do it for quite some time now, and I've finally done it! What, you ask? It's at the bottom of my blog. It's only just begun, as I'm sure I've got hundreds of additions yet to put on, but it's a start. For the love of reading, check it out!

2009-04-03T13:11:00.002-05:00

I don't really have a lot to say, but I do have a wee bit of time, so I thought I would just check in. This week has been spring break which means that I have my boys at home with me, our family is one and complete this week. This is just the way I like it and how we function the best. Being that my family is everything to me, I just hate sending my kids to school. I hate being away from them. Period. I enjoy their complany, yes even my oldest's non-stop chattering!!! They are different children when they are not influenced by the public school system. There is no mean-ness, hardly any fighting, and all of the "omg, did you just say that" things just disappear. Yes, they are definately influenced by the public school system and it really makes me wonder what the next years will bring if it's already happening now. It also makes me wonder how I made it through and did ok?? It's a tough, tough world out there. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to bubble my kids (well, ok, I DO, but I know better), I just want what's best for them, at all cost. They are in school to learn and they learn best from other children. Strong parenting skills are necessary in order to filter out all of the unwanted stuff that they gather. That, and an amazing, open relationship with my boys. Which I have, thank God.
I got my mark back from my latest course. I struggled with keeping my head in this one. It was painfully boring to me. I did realize that I never, as long as I live, want to have ANYTHING to do with book keeping. NOTHING. So anyway, after a whole lot of stress, anxiety and worry, I received an A!!! So now I have to choose an elective. I'm thinking of taking aboriginal studies and am pretty excited to get going on it. I am going to take a break, however, and get caught up on some of the amazing books that have been patiently waiting for me. I have a vest on the needles that is begging me to finish (I'm sooooo close), so that'll happen soon. I have been helping my gf line home made bags. This has been so much fun. I have discovered that I'm really not bad with a sewing machine, either!
Oh! And my most exciting news of all..........our holidays are booked!!! 8 sleeps in the beautiful, remote, phone-free, door-bell free Duck Mountains. To say that I'm excited is an understatement. I live and breathe for cabin life. For remoteness, for water, for wilderness. It's truly what centres me. I can not WAIT to enjoy just having my 3 boys around me, all to myself for that matter, for 8 full days. I hate to rush the summer, but GOSH I can't wait til August!

So many things.....

2009-03-25T09:49:00.002-05:00

To do, that is. Hubby got called in for O.T today (this poor weather is always good for our bank account) and so he dropped the kids off at school before he left, saving me the trip. YAY! 36 hours later, I am still having an allergic reaction to a med that my doc prescribed (he knew I had an allergy to a related drug, but felt it wasn't a bad enough reaction to NOT give me this particular one.) GRRRR. I spent the morning in emerg yesterday trying to get the rash down. It's still not gone. So, I am following the doc's advice and taking the day off today too. It really would be terrible to go into anaphylactic shock while on the job, right?
So here I am, the house all to myself with SOOOOO much to do. I submitted my final assignment last night. I'm terrified for the mark. Trying not to think about that. I have so much catching up to do, as this course took pretty much all of my spare time.
I would totally like to go down the basement (did I say "like"?) and organize my work area. Problem is, I have NO idea where to begin. I wish somebody with some really great organizational skills would come in and assist me in this area!!! I need to get more organized!
The laundry is piling up and the floors desparately need a wash. I am considering some redecorating (hopefully hubby doesn't read this!!!)...nothing major, just a few adjustments to a few areas. Whew. See, if you can follow my blathering, kudos! This is my head spinning right now. Quiet house, no one to need me and I choose to sit here and blather. What's wrong with me????? LOL!

Another year under the belt :)

2009-03-21T18:28:00.002-05:00

Another birthday has come and gone. I'm 34, and can hardly believe how time flies...mostly since I've become a mom! Mostly, I go through my birthday with a quiet, inner celebration of another year of life. This year was different. My kids were so excited about my birthday, it was very special for them. They went out of their way to make my day special for me, showering me with love and kind words, and some really cute, thoughtful gifts. My oldest bought me a "gold" necklace (costume jewellery) and it has a really pretty "disco ball" pendant. Essentially, it's a ball full of little diamond gemstones all around it. I LOVE it!!!! My youngest bought me a package of toe rings which he felt completely suited me. One is a yellow flower, another is a yellow butterfly. They are all very pretty and they made me yearn for flip-flops and pretty painted toe nails! I can't wait to wear them! They both bought me beautiful bouquets of flowers and some red hotlips! Oh, and a delicious cake!! They truly spoiled me and for the first time since I reached my emotional maturaty, I truly felt special on my birthday.
You see, birthdays have never really been made special for me, not since my Grandpa (God rest his soul) was alive. Sure, my Grandma tried, but it's really not the same when a person who spent the entire year beating you up verbally all of a sudden takes the day off to "celebrate" you.
This year I had an epiphany of sorts. My 21st birthday was a milestone for me. My Mom (God rest her soul, too) didn't live to enjoy her 21st year. So that was pretty incredible for me. This year, turning 34 made me suddenly and alarmingly aware that I've lived 13 years longer than my Mom. So I decided that from this birthday on, I will celbrate that. All the beauty of being granted another year, healthy, happy and alive! Happy Birthday to ME!!!! (I love you, Mom! R.I.P)

Yup, it's true....

2009-02-26T17:38:00.004-06:00

I'm going dark. My hair that is. I wore a wig on Halloween and everyone thought that it was my hair (yeah, they don't pay much attention apparently), but when they found out it wasn't, I was told I should go dark. I have contemplated dark since I found my first gray hair but haven't done it because, well, I'm partial to blonde. Very partial. I am kind of stuck without a choice, however. I have left my fried hair too long and now I want to shave it off so I don't have to see ALL THE GRAY. Seriously. There's SOOOOO much. I am NOT ready for all this gray. I need my hairdresser in the worst way, but I keep forgetting to book her for an outstanding colour that she always gives me. Soooooo, due to the fact that I've been having a terrible couple of weeks (work-wise) and I'm feeling completely beat-up and unappreciated, I needed a quick fix. So I picked up a brown colour and I am going for it. Who cares, right? It's just hair. AND it's gray. Double who cares. I will still book an appointment with my incredible hairstylist who will totally and completely understand (cuz she knows I'm a little off my rocker anyway, lol) and she will make me beautiful, no matter how I destroy my hair. (Thanks D, by the way...you ROCK).......................Thinkin I really like the change. Can't wait for the reactions!

On another note. I really miss the families that I had in the past! Sob Sob.

In the midst of moody Manitoba weather.......

2009-02-15T10:36:00.003-06:00

Snow and icicles. I had to post this picture. It's a few days late, but it's still post-worthy to show our moody Manitoba weather. Within a 24 hour period we had rain, freezing rain, snow, ice pellets and sleet. At times the weather was simply balmy and I was able to pick the kids up from school wearing just a cozy knitted sweater. At the end of that day, I had to put on my winter gear.
So looking out my window, I found this picture amusing to some degree. I captured on film what some people would not believe if they didn't actually live in this province!

Sweet lil boy arrived just in time to be the most perfect Valentine! 5lbs 15oz, he is just perfect! I have waited many years for my girlfriend (whom I consider the sister I never had) to make me an Aunty! He was definately worth the wait! Welcome to the world my precious little nephew! Prepare to be spoiled! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Little Boy Update

2009-02-09T08:17:00.002-06:00

So yesterday in all of my ranting about the trip to emerg, I forgot to mention how cranky the intake nurse was with me when she found out that my boy hasn't yet had his Kinder needle. She was NOT happy, to say the least. So she tells me that he needs his needle within 24 hours of this accident. Sooooooooo, the plan was going to be that I would call Public Health and get him in this afternoon. Problem solved, right? Well, not EVER with my youngest is a problem solved without complexity, in terms of his health. He broke out in a major fever through the night and was hallucinating. You see where this is going, right? He can't get his needle when he is sick, which is why we haven't had it done yet. He's been sick. Now, is this fever related to his accident (cranky nurse has me all freaked out now) or is this just pure coincidence? Or did he pick up something bad while visiting the oh-so-clean hospital? (If it's there, he'll get it, trust me). What to do, what to do?

Emergency

2009-02-08T17:21:00.002-06:00

Yup. Just got home from Emerg. Today was just to quiet and relaxing, I suppose, so the boys decided that they needed to jazz things up a bit. It all started out as innocent wrestling with me saying "guys, find a better place to do that, there's not enough room in there and someone is going to get hurt". I used to think that mom's were clairvoyant. Well, kind of, I suppose. But mostly, if you're like me, you could throw up twice in your mouth just thinking about your child getting injured. I have experienced head injuries with both of these guys in the past. My oldest was so excited that I was home, he came running and when his feet hit the transition between carpet to lino, he went sliding....right into the edge of the wall. This one blead like crazy, but only required some glue. My youngest split his head open when he fell off of the top bunk and landed head first on the edge of a bookshelf. That was a doozy and was so horrible, in fact, that I had to leave him with my husband so that I could get myself together. Just when I thought that I could handle this one, the doctor showed me just how serious the injury was. It was deep to the bone. Yup. He does a good job when he hurts himself. So the wrestling got a bit carried away and he tried to crawl under the bed. I'm not sure, exactly, how it came to be that he lifted his head just in time to smash it on the edge of the metal frame, but in any event, he did. He is at a stage right now where he will run to his room and hold the door closed when he is hurt or mad. So this is what he did while his brother came and got me. (Reason #500ish why I don't EVER try and watch a movie). As he was explaining, brother was becoming hysterical, so I went to see if he was seriously hurt. He met me half way in the hallway, hand full of blood and a terrified look on his face. The rest is history. Out the door, (thank goodness we are all of 2 minutes away from the hospital) and to emerg. I can say that arriving in emerg with a child who is bleeding is taken vary seriously. We are (the 3 times I've been in this circumstance) seen immediately and the nurses are so, so kind.
My poor boy was so scared and I had a very hard time keeping myself collected. The tears were stinging the back of my eyes while he was literally screaming as they froze his wound.
It is a very frightening feeling when you see blood coming from your child. It's in that moment that you realize how fragile they are and how, sometimes as a Mommy, things are out of your control and you can't fix them. My world wouldn't work without either of my boys. Funny how, though I've only had these babes in my life for 8 & 5 years, I can't begin to imagine life without them and, God willing, I won't have to.
Parenting boys is a challenge. I wouldn't have it any other way, but somehow I am going to have teach these children that every time they act like "boys" it adds another gray hair to my already full head. Can't they just go and read? Maybe I should teach them to knit?

Cabin Fever??

2009-01-30T08:46:00.002-06:00

Is that what it is? I am feeling so overwhelmed, like someone heaped 3 extra helpings onto my already full plate while I wasn't looking. Of coarse, that someone is me. It's just my personality to take on too much, and normally I am able to organize and divide my time in order to get it all done. Right now, I don't know if it's cabin fever or what, but I just can't seem to focus. All at once, I am thinking about the dreadful Small Business coarse that I have to finish by April 1st, I need to start some sort of exercise routine (it's a bad, bad sign when your jeans start cutting off the circulation in your thighs when you are sitting), I have reports to write, files to update, appointments to schedule, therapists to meet with. I have my own family needs that are needing me! I have to get that OT form back so that Ry can hopefully be seen before the end of this school year. My house is being over run by dust bunnies, my laundry is taking over my basement, my work area needs to be organized. Even the things that I want to do seem to be overwhelming me! I have countless books in que and manyWIP's on the needles. All of which I want to finish!!!! I have projects that I have to cast on b/c people are waiting...very patiently....and I have projects that I need to cast on because I can't wait to give them to the surprised and delighted recipient!!!
Anyway, that's my rant. If I could go for a run, I would. That would do the trick, as it always does. I am absolutely opposed to running outside in the winter, though, so I guess maybe I should get these thighs onto the elliptical.
Somebody please send me some relaxation Karma!!!!!

2009-01-26T09:25:00.002-06:00

I have this girlfriend who, since I've turned (maybe 28) or so, has always reminded me of my age. It's not unusual for me to knock a year or so off, or add a year or so on (I know, that's crazy!!!). Well, I think for the past 6 months I have been saying, OUT LOUD, "I'm going to be 33 this year, it's time for me to think about getting healthier". 33. So for at least 6 months, everyone who knows me (her in particular, hehe) has been cruelly letting me believe that I am turning 33. UGH!!! (Just kidding Jewels ;) But seriously, it was a reality check when I did the math. I called her immediately. It's a good thing that I got her voice mail. I left my panicked message and asked her to call me back to confirm. Ok, so as the story goes, I am NOT turning 33 this year. I am turning 34. Ouch. That was even difficult to write. Here's what it is: I am in an amazing marriage. Seriously, I am married to my soul mate, my best friend. We are so totally in love still after 10 years (that seems strange to write, but it's such a milestone these days). I have 2 beautiful, brilliant, funny and amazing children. My world is filled with beautiful friends who inspire me, confide in me, support me and stand by me. (and back at you, my girls). So this issue that I seem to be having with my age seems to be gnawing at me for one particular reason. I feel like I am at the age where I need to realize that "this is what it is all about". I am not a teenager anymore, and although my metabolism still, somewhat works in my favour, I won't ever be a size 0 again. (do i really want to be, anyway?). My career is one that I love. Is this where I want to stay. Til retirement? I don't know. I am truly thankful that I've lived long enough to enjoy these almost 34 years. My Mom passed away when she was 21. I often think of her and it sobers me. Be happy. I'm healthy, I'm happy, I have been through some of the most difficult things, things that statistically should have broken me. (which should be another post in itself, but I won't, lol). Sooooooooo, after all the blathering, does anyone have any advice on how to just look at the bright side of aging? I see the physical changes in my body and when I see young girls, they remind me of me. Most days I still feel like I'm in my 20's. Most days I still act like it, lol. So do I let social standards affect me, or do I continue to live my life exactly the way that I feel inside?

Epiphany

2009-01-17T20:45:00.003-06:00

So to keep this from being a long winded post, let's just say that quiet mornings and beautiful, sun-shiny weather led me to an epiphany this morning and it just keeps getting better. I discovered something about myself that I didn't know and wasn't seeking answers for. Obviously. During that discovery, I considered the truth behind one of my favourite quotes "you never know when you're making a memory". It doesn't matter how momentous it is, chances are that it has helped to shape you to who you are today. As is the case behind this morning's quiet discovery.
I put it aside and carried on with my day, not giving it another thought. Tonight, while the kids were busy being friends and playing very well together, I picked up my pen and began to journal in the most incredible journal that was given to me by a very special girlfriend. Mid-way through, I had the urge to pick up the book that this same friend gave me for Christmas. It's called "Gifts from a Course in Miracles". I flipped randomly to a page and when I looked at it, I couldn't believe it. I do, for sure believe in fate and I do believe that my path is laid out for me. What is for me will come. This seems to be just more reassurance that my journey to Winnipeg on Tuesday will be all that I hope for it. I know I'm being evasive, and I will elaborate, if you wish, just ask. Anyway, the page that I flipped to had a simple black and white picture of grass blowing in the wind and with it, a simple quote: "I place the future in the Hands of God".
Here's what followed:
"You are but asked to let the future go,
and place it in God's Hands.
And you will see by your experience
that you have laid the past and present
in His Hands as well,
because the past will punish you no more,
and the future dread will now be meaningless.
Release the future.
For the past is gone,
and what is present,
freed from its bequest
of grief and misery,
of pain and loss,
becomes the instant in which time
escapes the bondage of illusions
where it runs its pitiless, inevitable course.
Then is each instant which was slave to time
transformed into a holy instant,
when the light that was kept hidden in God's Son
is freed to bless the world.
Now is he free, and all his glory
shines upon a world made free with him,
to share his holiness.

Place, then, your future in the Hands of God.
For thus you call the memory of Him to come again,
replacing all your thoughts of sin and evil
with the truth of love.
Think you the world could fail to gain thereby,
and every living creature not respond
with healed perception?
Who entrusts himself to God
has also placed the world within the Hands
to which he has himself appealed
for comfort and security.
He lays aside the sick and illusions of the world
along with his
and offeres peace to both.

This is, by no means, meant to sound "preachy". It just fits and I had to share it.
Whew. I can't wait for Tuesday.

My Booga

2009-01-16T18:48:00.003-06:00

No, not booger.....booga. Bag, that is. I needed to post finished pictures (or at least one anyway) because this bag is all the rave everywhere I go. It's crazy how many compliments and requests that I get! I didn't think it would turn out to be something that I loved so much. I figured that I would end up using it as a project-take-along bag. Not so much. Not yet, anyway. Here it is. I spiced it up, adding a clasp and flowers.So here it is. Ain't she purdy?

Stash Diving

2009-01-07T22:06:00.003-06:00

WOW I am the luckiest and most grateful person ever right now! I just got back from an invitation to stash dive!!! Knitters and crocheters alike will understand this! Check this out!

Can you believe this!?!?! My girlfriend's mil purged her stash and she shared it with me! I could hardly contain myself when I saw that her living room floor was an entire yarn stash!!! She invited me in and I had to hold myself back from rolling around and frolicking in all of this fibrous goodness!!! She made me the most heavenly cup of tea and we dove in! There was copius amounts of yarn, all of which came from Eaton's and Ram Wools. Whoooo hoooo! She is new to knitting, so I went through the yarns and gave her some ideas for each bag (yes bag) full. I can't even put into words just how much there was. And it's not done. There's more to come! Phew! She inherited a stitch marker and a stitch holder (to both of which I had to emphasize the greatness of such tools). She was a little overwhelmed to say the least. As for myself, I felt like I was living my fantasy. (As some of you may know part of my fantasy includes being cuddled up in my bed surrounded by yarn and books, lol...it has nothing to do with the "normal" bed time ideas ;)
I captured my luck on film. There's an amazing ball of knitpick's Suri Dream yarn which I have been given by a girlfriend who just seemed to know that she would MAKE MY DAY by giving me this! Thank you again, btw! (My over zealousness about the beauty of this yarn may have tipped her off!)
I cannot wait to cast on something with these yarns. Now I need to go project hunting. But first, I have to finish these, as I am determined to NOT lose sight of what will be the most amazing legwarmers (yup, that's what I said, but move over Jane Fonda, here's a new twist to what could otherwise be incredibly 80's and super tacky)!
How will I sleep tonight?????

Now it's time for me

2009-01-05T13:51:00.004-06:00

I'm done all of my Christmas knitting and crafts. Now it's time for me! Well, sort of. It's funny because sometimes when I begin a project whether it's knitting or sewing or other, I often start out with the intentions of keeping it for myself. However, as I progress into the project sometimes it just doesn't feel like it belongs to me any more. Sounds strange, but crafters will understand. A friend gave an analogy that makes perfect sense. It's kind of like surrogacy, only in an inanimate object sort of way, lol! You realize that though the project may be beautiful, you realize that it belongs to someone else and so when you are finished, you gift it. That's not happening so far anyway with the projects that I have on the needles. I am making the project on the right. It's going to be a beautiful shawl and although it has holes, it's being created out of soy wool, so it will be nice and warm! I have progressed much further on this since the photo. One ball down, 2 to go!

I also have a booga bag on needles.
<-This is it.
The first picture is of before felting, the second one after. It's blocking right now. Essentially, it's a bag that's knitted on really big needles using wool. Then it's felted. It turns into this:

My 3rd project that I'm going to cast on is some "suede" booties for my girlfriend's baby who will be born in February. They are just so incredibly cute. Unfortunately, I haven't cast them on yet, but that's coming. Again, I will post pics. If you hang out on Ravelry, I'm there under mbsandybee. Look me up. All of my knitted projects are there. Eventually I will figure out how to incorporate my knitting pics and stuff into my blog. I need to learn how to grid my pictures first!

2009

2008-12-31T17:35:00.003-06:00

Meme from Mama D. Here's my version, or vision? for 2009...

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?

Went face to face, and championed my past!!!

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I didn't make any for this year. Maybe that's why I was so successful in all the areas of my life that I made changes! I am not making "resolutions" so to speak. I have made a list of the things that I will try to accomplish to better my world for 2009. It's not so cliché as making resolutions, lol!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Oh yes. My Julie gave birth to a beautifully perfect baby boy!

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Thank goodness, no, no one close to me. Please, God, let it keep!

5. What countries did you visit?

Um, does the US count????

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?

A greater feeling of financial security, which would mean, of coarse, less debt!!!

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

There are many. It was a momentous year.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Maintaining the courage that it took to confront the demons, (literally) of my past. To maintain composure at my trial against the demons.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Falling off the fitness wagon and returning to unhealthy ways.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I was diagnosed with Illeitis the year prior. I have suffered from it regularly. Does that count?

11. What was the best thing you bought?

My CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

My own, in my opinion. I could have gone on a downward spiral while reliving all the pain of my childhood. I didn't.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Some of my girlfriends.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Good question! Where did it go? What money???? Oh right, GAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Getting my car got me pretty revved up...no pun intended!!!!

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?

I'm happier every year, because it's another year that I get to celebrate my life, my family and my accomplishments.

b) thinner or fatter?

Fatter. That doesn't make me happy :(

c) richer or poorer?

Poorer :(

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

I would have to say I wish we, as a family, had done more camping/cabin living.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Less sitting around wonder what to do.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

Christmas morning with the kidlettes. Christmas day, boxing day with FIL and family. I cooked a traditional Ukrainian feast and fed 14 hungry Ukrainians who all said I did a fabulous job!!!

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?

I fall in love a little more every day with my boys. All three of them. And my 4-legged children.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

Again, this year, I do not have a favorite show. Sorry. Too busy knitting. LOL!

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Hate is a pretty strong word. I've learned to let go of people that I would normally hang on to and hate.

24. What was the best book you read?

There were many. The Poisonwood Bible, Drowning Ruth, The Secret Life of Bees, The Road

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

26. What did you want and get?

Another year with my FIL.

27. What did you want and not get?

A cabin.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

I'm sure it would have been Twilight, if I had of seen it.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Is it terrible that I don't remember??

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Having my own cabin to escape to.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?

Meh, $#@! it, it is what it is!!!!

32. What kept you sane?

My hubby. He always keeps me sane. Thank God for him!!!!
Also knowing that I have incredible friends that stand by me and believe in me. No questions asked. I love you guys!

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Adam Levine. Yup.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

Watching the Obama election in the states.

35. Who did you miss?

My mom. My mother-in-law. My big brother.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

My boy's teachers. They are truly incredible people!

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.

Don't take it personally.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

"If everyone cared and nobody cried, if everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride, we'd see the day that nobody died
And I'm singin Amen, I'm alive."

Traditional Ukrainian Christmas

2008-12-24T15:59:00.004-06:00

This year, as always, we will be celebrating Christmas with my FIL up north. He has been ill for some time, suffering from COPD, and there have been a couple of times that we have almost lost him. This Christmas, I have decided to make it extra special for him. I have pulled out all of my Ukrainian blood, and spent 3 days (solid), cooking up a storm in the kitchen. I have made buckwheat holobtsie (cabbage rolls), rice holobstie, Nalysnika, and my traditional cabbage rolls. My hit this Christmas was this:
Yup. Braided bread. My first attempt at bread, at making anything with yeast in general. It turned out fabulous! I had lots extra, so we have been able to sample it! MMMMMM, warm home made bread with butter. Is there anything better? As much as I say I would love a bread machine (and I still would!), this was a whole lot more fun than I had anticipated. I got to knead it for 1/2 an hour and it was pure therapy! Crazy, I know, but I have spent the past 2 days rolling cabbage rolls, so this was such a treat!!! I can't wait for everyone to get together and celebrate. I am so excited!
Merry Christmas to you all. I wish you an abundance of health and happiness this Christmas and all the year through.

Making a List and Checking It A Dozen Times

2008-12-09T10:56:00.006-06:00

Well, I have been knitting up a storm of projects for Christmas gifts this year. Therefore, my fingers have not been very available for other things, such as posting on my blog. Today I thought I would share some of the gifts that I've made, as most people have recieved theirs. (I like to give early gifts, so that the recipient doesn't feel obligated to give a gift back. This way it's less like a "Christmas" gift and more like a "just because" gift ;) )
I have recently become friends on Ravelry with an amazing knitter who is originally from Iceland! She has the cutest little earflap hats ever, and when I asked her if she had a pattern for them, she kindly wrote it up for me! How awesome is that?! Knitters are so nice!!!
So the first picture is of the earflap hat that only took me a couple of hours (here and there) to whip up. I made it for a very dear little boy that I've known all his life. He's very special to me, therfore, he needed a very special hat. He has been very patient with me, too, because he has been waiting since last winter to recieve his hat! Yikes. He LOVED it!!!
The model is not the recipient, fyi!! And although it's not the best pic of the hat, it's such a cute pic of R that I had to post it!!!
The next project is one of my absolute favorites so far! It is for my supervisor and friend who doesn't like to wear hats, but this year at our staff gift exchange, one of the staff made a hat and scarf set that she won. We were playing a game that you could "steal" another person's gift, and because this was an absolute hit, it was quickly snatched up from her! She was visibly upset, as she had put this hat on, just like you would a beret and it looked amazing on her. This inspired me to make my second mystery beret, fondly referred to as Meret on Ravelry, for her. I hope she likes it just as much!

I made this one for another of my girlfriends that just loves berets. There were a lot of firsts involved with this hat!! It is the first knit along (KAL) that I have ever done (and it was sooo much fun), it is the first beret that I've ever made, the first lace pattern that I've ever followed, and the first time that I have ever blocked anything that I've made. I have also, for the first time, felted a project!! I made a cute little flower to attach to it, just because it will suit her so much more with a little bit of bling on it!! I don't have a pic of the flower, but here's the hat:

It is the same as the white one, so I posted this picture so that you could see the incredible lacey pattern and the beautiful star on top! The white one, when stretched out like this, looks just like a snowflake! This is a beautiful pattern and it can be found on Ravelry under "Meret".
Hmmmm, what else....? Oh crumb, I deleted the pics off my files for the hat that I made my co-worker/girlfriend. She complained that her ears were cold when she was done swimming and she asked me many times when she was getting a hat...so I made her the most adorable cabled brim hat and matching mittens. She just loves it and tells me that her hubby makes fun of her because she never takes it off! Now that's a present that you can be sooo happy to have given.
This year, for me, it's all about giving gifts from the heart. I have started this about 6 years ago, and every year I get more and more creative. I sewed an amazing something for another special friend of mine, and I can't say because I haven't given it to her yet, I made a beautiful table swag for another very special girlfriend, but don't have pics of it :( . Homemade gifts are just so, so nice...in my opinion anyway. I hope that all of the people recieving my gifts this year feel just the same!!!

Meditation in the form of Rice Pudding...Sans Raisins

2008-12-06T19:21:00.005-06:00

Oh wow, I just finished creating a rice pudding masterpiece! I borrowed the recipe from my girlfriend, who swore that it was the pudding therapy from start to finish and boy was she right! It was hands down the best rice pudding that I have ever, ever tasted and I happen to be a huge fan of the stuff!! The 1/2 of stirring was time enough for me to slip into deep meditation. Stirring while smelling the sweet, starchy goodness put me into a trance. Who would have thought? I am so incredibly impatient and don't have it for stuff like this, typically. However, because it was rice pudding and I haven't had it in years, I wanted to get it just right! As I was stirring, I was thinking of all the incredible things that I was going to write on here about it...I should have written it down, though because as soon as I was done licking mine and my son's bowls clean, I snapped out of my trance and totally forgot all the heavenly things that this therapy pudding did to me. :(
You'll have to take my word for it, or better yet, try some yourself. I promise you won't be disappointed.
I have copied the recipe from my girlfriend, I hope you don't mind! The only thing different that I did to mine was I used my vanilla sugar grinder while it was cooking so that I could get the real vanilla deal!

Heat just over two cups of milk in the microwave until scalded.
While that is cooking, melt a tablespoon of butter and a couple of spoonfuls of white sugar in a heavy saucepan. Add 4 tablespoons Arborio rice and stir to coat. Add the milk, a splash at a time, stirring all the while. Keep the mixture at a brisk simmer. The pudding is done when the rice has absorbed enough milk to be soft and creamy. That takes at least 20-30 minutes of stirring. Add a splash of vanilla extract at the end and more sugar, if desired.

Jen, I must thank you for your amazing, incredible recipe!!

Christmas Meme repost from NotJenny

2008-12-04T21:20:00.002-06:00

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?

I do wrapping paper for the little kids and gift bags for the "big kids" :)

2. Real tree or Artificial?
Begrudgingly artificial.....
3. When do you put up the tree?

Always after remembrance day...but no date in particular afterwards

4. When do you take the tree down?

Usually before new years...tho my hubby would like me to leave it up for Ukrainian Christmas

5. Do you like eggnog?

Oh yes...the thick, creamy goodness of it.....

6. Favorite gift received as a child?

My cabbage patch kid, my first teddy bear

7. Hardest person to buy for?

My husband...he never wants for anything

8. Easiest person to buy for?

Me!!! hehe...does that count??

9. Do you have a nativity scene?

10. Mail or email Christmas cards?

Mail them...when I send them

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?

Every Christmas gift is special...I would never say any gift is bad!!

12. Favorite Christmas Movie?

Not really sure that I have one...I like the cartoons

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?

The beginning of December

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?

Nope

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?

Chocolates, my turkey stuffing

16. What decorations are on your tree?

Red ornaments and gold beads
17. Favorite Christmas song?

Silent Night

18. Travel at Christmas or stay at home?

Both...we're home on Christmas morning, of coarse, then we head to the in-laws
19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer?

Yuppers!

20. Angel on top of tree or star?

Star

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or Christmas morning?

Christmas Morning!

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year?

The commercialism of it all and the cranky shoppers!

23 What theme or color are you using when you decorate?

Red and gold

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner?

My turkey stuffing

25. What do you want for Christmas this year?

To be with my family in happiness and good health!!!

A Dumbwaiter really wouldn't be that dumb....

2008-12-01T15:01:00.002-06:00

As I try and conquer mount laundry, I look around me and see 5 baskets of clothes, folded neatly, and waiting patiently to be brought upstairs by my hubby. He has been axed off of laundry duty as it was getting far too expensive to keep replacing the articles that he destroyed while he tried his stint at the job. His job now is simply to haul the full baskets up to the 2nd floor so that I can proceed with putting them away. He is slacking on his duties. 5 overflowing baskets worth. To say that I am annoyed would be putting it mildly. He hauls the dirty stuff down, so why is it that he can't see the CLEAN stuff awaiting pick-up?? So as I am downstairs folding yet another load of laundry, trying to figure out where I am going to keep this stuff until I have empty baskets, I have a great idea come upon me! A dumbwaiter! Wouldn't that be awesome? If I had one, I could simply place the basket inside, press #2 and up it would go! I am typically the type of person who does things for myself (partially due to my undiagnosed OCD), so this would certainly fit the role of do-it-myself. Now, the question is....how in the world would I go about doing this? It's just a far-fetched dream that will never really come true, at least not in this particular house, but I tell you, thinking about it sure takes my mind off of the fact that I STILL have 5 overflowing baskets of laundry....STILL awaiting pick-up.........

My "creative" side....hehe....UPDATE: finished project!

2008-11-21T21:56:00.006-06:00

I've been on the hunt for a lime green bag. No luck finding one that I just love, so the other day while I was with my son at the store looking for an appliqué for the toque that I was knitting him, I turned around and there it was....a pattern for what could potentially be my lime green purse. I bought the pattern (because I occasionally get inspired to pull out the sewing machine), R found his yarn and appliqué and away we went to find the "perfect" material. Here are some pics. I finished the purse, found some incredible material and decided that I am going to make one for a special friend for Christmas. She just might pee her pants when she sees the fabric I've found! Hehe...now let's hope she doesn't actually check my blog, so it doesn't ruin Christmas!!! The first picture is of the outter part of the bag. The second pic is the incredible lining that I found! Already I've had over 10 requests for these bags. Yikes. Seriously, I'm NOT a seamstress!!! I actually kind of suck at sewing!!!

My first KAL

2008-11-17T17:52:00.004-06:00

Well, it's not quite finished, but it's very close! I have cast this project on 3 times and now realize that I am only able to follow a pattern if it's in front of me and I am able to put a check beside the rows as I complete them. Why? Because there is rarely a moment in my life that someone isn't talking to me around here!!! And when that rare moment does come along, I find that my mind wanders far, far away and my hands just knit aimlessly, lol!
So here is a pick of one of my most favourite hats yet!!! This one's a gift, but I'm going to set aside some time to whip one up for myself!!!

Christmas Meme

2008-11-11T09:55:00.004-06:00

Christmas is a very special time of year in our home. Every year, we fill shoe boxes and send them to the 3rd world countries so that they too can have a wonderful Christmas. The boys are so cute and so thoughtful when choosing items to place in these boxes and I love all of the many, many things that this is teaching them.
We typically choose a name off of the Christmas tree in the mall, and the boys get to choose which gift they would like to purchase for this child. They just LOVE the gift of giving!
We gather many non-perishable items and usually a turkey and some ground beef and we donate it to the local food shelter.
The Christmas season is truly the family bonding season! We play Christmas carols, go skating at the out door rink and hot chocolate is definately a tradition!!
Christmas eve, the boys get to open one gift. This gift is always a new pair of p.j's. They just LOVE new p.j's! We set out milk and cookies for Santa, and we snuggle up in bed and talk excitedly about the morning to come.
Christmas day I make the typical Ukrainian meal. Turkey and fixin's and perogies, cabbage rolls, meatballs and gravy. Over the years, our home has been open to anyone that isn't going "home" for Christmas. Sometimes I've had up to 16 adults and numerous children. It's the most amazing feeling!
These are our Christmas traditions. I just love Christmas and I love to read everyone else's traditions!

Here we go again

2008-11-09T19:44:00.002-06:00

Good grief, I should have expected it. But I feel a little blindsided because, you see, when my oldest suddenly felt feverish to me, I think I went into some kind of shock. He has and has always had a very strong immune system. When he gets sick, it is usually quick to pass. Yesterday and today, however, he has been down and out with a very high fever, malaise, headache and sore throat. He just plain feels crummy. I actually thought that with a 7 year old, it would be easier to explain the necessity of laying low and resting. Was I wrong! It was much, much easier to have my 5 year old understand this. This round has been a whole lot more challenging. As soon as the Tylenol/Motrin combo kicks in, he seems to think that he has miraculously been healed and he can give 'er 90! Such a catch 22. Gotta give the meds to regulate the temp, but risk him burning his body out cuz he thinks he's better. Sigh. Sick kids=no sleep for them and for me. This truly sux. I worry so much about fever. I lay awake most of the night praying that the temp will stay down, constantly checking it, feeling the body, giving cool wash cloth compresses all the while praying that I don't get sick next. Who will take care of me???

Inspired by NotJenny and Mama to Mama

2008-11-08T18:13:00.002-06:00

I have a very special friend in my life that has inspired me in many ways since I've met her!
These hats for newborns are a result of the most recent inspiration from her! She told me about this project it Haiti, where there is a need for safe-birthing kits so that the moms and babies have a greater chance of a safe, clean birth. I must say, I'm not very knowledgeable of the many struggles that these countries have, and so whenever I am presented with an opportunity to learn more, I am all over it. Hence, the hats.
The Caps to Cap-Hatian Project is putting together safe-birting kits for expectant mothers in Haiti, one of the poorest countries in the world. The site says, "These kits - consisting of plastic sheeting, hand sanitizer, a sterile piece of string and razor blade, and these newborn baby caps - have the potential to reduce infant and maternal mortality, and give babies a safer, healthier start."
I made 7 really, super cute hats under an hour. No fancy sewing, just 2 seams as you can use the bottom hem of the t-shirt. How much easier can a project be that can make such a HUGE difference in this world. God Bless those babies! And God Bless all those who are helping in any way to get these kits together and shipped off to Haiti.

2008 Cozy Toque Award Goes Too.....

2008-11-05T21:45:00.003-06:00

Tête á Fetching!!!! This pattern was inspired from a pattern found on Knitty titled Fetching. They are fingerless gloves. I didn't make this pattern, I found it in Ravelry (God Bless ravelry!!). I have been trying and trying to knit up a cozy toque to replace the ones from last year that I have lost somewhere. Well...here it is! Yay!! This one is made with soy wool which is part soy and part acrylic. It's not itchy, and it's incredibly soft and cozy! This yarn was a little tricky to work with cuz a) it was so fine and b) it was so slippery. I did it though, it didn't take very long once I got started and I couldn't be happier! The next one I make (yes, I love it that much that I am going to make more!) I will use heavier yarn. This one is definately not going to stand up to the -40 that winters here bring! If you're interested in pattern, it's in Ravelry and it's under Tête á Fetching! I must send a huge thank you out to the lady who wrote this pattern! You've saved me many, many hours of searching for the perfect toque pattern!

The Flu

2008-11-01T21:22:00.002-05:00

Well after 3 days of temperature of 40.5, I finally called Mason's pediatrician. He met us at emerg to have a look at my lil guy. I know, emerg, drama, all that stuff, but you see, Mason has a history in the 5 short years that he's been with us. When he gets sick, it's not unusual for him to end up on I.V at the hospital. Thankfully, we breezed through last year with nothing more than colds. This year has started out pretty scary. We've been giving Tylenol and Motrin as often as we are able and this only mellows the temp. He has hallucinations and shakes and he looks like death warmed over. We had him at walk-in, and honestly, I don't know why I ever take him there. It always ends up this way...miss-diagnosis (cuz they don't KNOW Mason's history) and I always end up seeing his Ped. Ever since the last time he got sick and was put in the hospital, I don't take any chances. His immune system is very immature and he gets hit harder than most kids. He has a very high pain tolerance, and when he was a baby, he had an internal infection and never let me know until I did up his diaper and I pushed the velcro down. He cried out in pain and I just knew that something was wrong. This was our first trip to emergency where he was kept for 2 days on I.V. antibiotics. He was 2 weeks old. So, long story short (cuz I don't have much time to be on here right now), I don't let fever go on for very long before I start getting really worried. But you know what, it's the mother's instinct, and that's what Pediatrician's are for, right?

Thoughtful award from NotJenny

2008-10-30T16:40:00.003-05:00

The above award was passed to me by NotJenny, and I have to say that I am truly honoured! NotJenny has quickly become someone who is very special to me. She inspires me in so many ways, she has taught me many, many things and I truly look up to her as an outstanding Mommy. To have her acknowledge me in this way is very flattering. Thank you, NotJenny!

This blog invests and believes, in ‘proximity’ [meaning, that blogging makes us 'close' - being close through proxy] "They are all charming blogs, and the majority of them aim to show the marvels of friendship; there are persons who are not interested when we give them a prize, and then they help to cut these bows; do we want that they are cut, or that they propagate?" Then let’s try to give more attention to them!

So with this prize we must deliver it to eight bloggers that in turn must make the same thing and put this text.”

2008-10-30T16:18:00.002-05:00

It's when my babes get sick that I really, truly realize just how much they mean to me. I mean, I cherish their every moment, good and bad, but when they are sick, they seem so fragile. They seem so little and helpless and it makes me want to just wrap my arms around their fevered bodies and draw all of the sick out of them. I have been known to purposely kiss them on the lips to try and take it away from them. I know that's probably just terrible, but I am being honest. I do it!
My lil guy is so so sick right now. It started in the evening (in retrospect), but I thought he was just tired and missing his daddy. Needless to say, his fevered dreams woke me at midnight and it was then that I realized that he was SO sick. I took his temp, it read 40.1 and I went straight for the motrin, bypassing my usual Tylenol first. I stayed awake for most of the night, laying at the foot of the bed, playing scrabble on my cell phone and texting my hubby at work to keep him updated. Finally at about 4 a.m I fell asleep, woke up at 6 and that was that. Cancelled my morning appointments and cuddled with my boy. The meds kicked in and he thought he was good to go. (gotta love that). He burned out pretty quickly and has been TKO since. It's just heart breaking to see my boy (s) sick. Sick sux. I feel so helpless and that sux too. Wouldn't it be wonderful if love could cure all that ails? Now my older boy has inflamed eyes and they are driving him crazy! He desparately wants to rub them. Try to explain to a child why he must suffer in order to get better. Sigh.
So, now that I've poured my sad story out, maybe I'll be better able to deal with seeing me boys in this condition.

2008-10-27T15:21:00.003-05:00

I've put up some pictures of some of the stuff I'm knitting right now. I am looking very forward to wearing my first pair of socks! They are on hold, however, until I am able to find a pattern for a nice cozy toque that I will live in this winter. Wish me luck. The scarf has been a lot of pleasure to knit. It's the easiest cable pattern that I have ever worked with and I don't need to keep track of where I am at when one of my kids interrupts me! It's great! The pictures of the grapes...well, those are a "should be doing" project. This year our vines have given us a record amount of grapes, and really we should make our grape jelly out of them. It is soooo yummy and we get so much that we are able to share the love at Christmas time. We'll see if we get around to doing that! I had to take a picture of them, though. They are so ripe and plump. Maybe if I keep staring at them, the guilt will overcome me and I'll spend a weekend making my jelly!

2008-10-26T19:30:00.003-05:00

Brrrrrrrr!!! Need I say more? I try to embrace the different seasons, and typically, fall is my favorite. I love the colours and the smells. I love the slow down pace that comes with the cool air. What I don't love and can't embrace is this wind! Me and wind are not friends. We aren't even aquaintances. We are arch enemies and when it's strong enough to blow me and my kids off our feet, that's where I begin to wage my war on wind! Actually, though, this cold, blustery wind did inspire me to make a toque for myself! I can't seem to find any of the toques that I made for myself last year, which is really very depressing. So I've had to start from scratch for my toque wardrobe. Anyone who knows me, knows that as soon as the weather has a sniff of cool to it, I dawn my toque and live in it until the snow is melted. I have even been known to nap in my toques! So, here I sit with my new toque that I whipped up in a couple of hours, wishing that I was also finished my socks!!!

It's Gone

2008-10-08T14:39:00.002-05:00

The tooth came out this morning. Yup. I actually did alright with it! Does this mean that I've accepted the fact that he's growing up? Well, I wouldn't go that far, but I think I have accepted that he will lose all those cute little teeth in his mouth and they will all be replaced by ones that just don't seem to fit. Yet. My personality is such that I struggle with change and as a Mom, it seems to be that much more difficult. However, as with every other situation that is new to my boys, I have to remind myself that this is their moment and it is up to me to let them discover all the wondrous things that I've long ago discovered. It's not for me to impose my feelings on them simply because I have attachment issues. It is for me to let my babies be free to experience life. I'll be here to guide them, to reassure them, to praise them and to lecture them, to build them up and give them their wings. I am a huge fan of quotes, so here's one of my favorites.... "Making the decision to have a child -- it's momentous. It is to decide forever have your heart go walking around outside your body." --Elizabeth Stone

Updates

2008-10-05T21:53:00.001-05:00

He's at it again! My son, I mean! He's got another wiggler and he's desparate to get it out so the tooth fairy will come. It's like an addiction!!! He even brought me a kleenex and asked me to pull it out! I told him it's not ready! LOL! It's not even about what the tooth fairy brings...he doesn't seem to care! So why, why, why!!!! I guess I just need to accept it. His teeth will fall out, he will grow big boy teeth, some day (probably too soon for my liking) he will grow hair on his face and maybe even his chest, his voice will change and I will have to say goodbye to my baby. Am I going to extremes here over a silly loose tooth? UGH!

The Perils of a Loose Tooth

2008-10-04T16:55:00.002-05:00

I'm a little late on this one, but I just figured out how to post a pic! My baby lost his first tooth. I might add, he's the first kid in his class (or so he says) to lose a tooth. So why did he have to be first, and yes I actually asked him this! LOL! It's been wiggly for a while now and we had the talk about when he loses them, I might cry...you know that kind of talk. I know you probably all think it's silly, but really as a Mom, I remember very well when he got that tooth. So, by rights, I am allowed to be emotional over the loss of it! It's not just the loss of the tooth, though. It's the underlying meanings that go along with it....like the fact that he's my last baby and that soon his cute little baby mouth will look all crazy with those big chicklettes that are too big for his mouth! And it also signifies the end of his baby-ish-ness! It's just another reminder that he's growing up! There's a part of me that just doesn't want to let my babies go! There's also a part of me (though I wouldn't say it's an equal part) that is looking forward to all that there is to come with them! It scares me that the older they get, the more influenced by outside sources they become and the less control I have over any given situations. They're becoming little people with the ability to make independent decisions (to a point), and who have their own opinions (and now feel completely entitled!!). I respect their uniqueness and their individuality but as a mom I certainly stuggle with the typical questions of am I instilling good values? Am I doing all I can to ensure that they believe in themselves? Have I assured them that no matter what it is, how serious it is or why, they can always come and talk to me? I really believe that if I continue to have the close relationship that I have with them, I will know if there is something wrong. And as silly as it may sound, I know that drugs get into the schools as early as the lower grades, and I hope and pray that I have done what I can to make sure that they make the right choices when I'm not around.
This is all because of ONE tooth loss. OMG, how many teeth does he have in his mouth? YIKES!

Hockey

2008-09-26T19:14:00.002-05:00

I would have posted this much sooner had a I not forgotten my password. SOOO, my boys just finished 3 weeks of hockey school. To say it wasn't exhausting (for ME) would be a lie! Mel took the first 2 off so that he could dress them and help me with them (since I was adamant that I was NOT going to be a hockey mom). The 3rd time was me on my own. I was late, hungry and sweating like crazy when I attempted to dress them. Anyone with young kids will know right now the tremendous amount of patience this took me!!!! Especially when my oldest son kept pretending to fall asleep and when he'd "wake up" he kept saying that he wished his dad was home cuz "he knows what he's doing". OMG, are you kidding me???? Yes, I took offence to that, but considering my mental state, I figure I managed pretty well by just using my eye contact to tackle that comment.
So I got them to the rink and had them all geared up and on the ice with 5 minutes to spare! HA! I even beat my "pro" hubby at that one! Oh, and the skates were actually on the right feet! Yay me!
We managed to get through each class without incident, and to be honest, I really did enjoy watching my boys out there with all their gear and stuff! Did I mention that they even had little mouthguards?? LMAO!!!
The last class was an acutal game. Two 20 minute periods and One 6 minute. They changed shifts every 2 minutes and they even had assigned positions!!! It was all going so well, and Ry was just having a blast, he's just so good at it! He even came close to scoring! So all of a sudden, Ry falls and this other kid falls too. Ry's stick gets caught under this kid's jersey and Ry was trying to pull it out. I could see the kid getting pissed off and frustrated, and I honestly don't think Ry even picked up on it. So finally the stick comes free and the kid stands up and just slashes the back of Ry's knees with his stick!! OMG, I was just in shock. Then I got really angry and I could feel the fire in my tummy. As a mom, it's one of the toughest things to have to witness, your child getting hurt, and I just felt so helpless. I heard the people in the stands behind me chuckle about it, as though it was quite acceptable that 5 and 6 and 7 year olds are already this violent! IT'S JUST A GAME I wanted to shout...in fact I think I did say that out loud. Thank goodness I was stuck between two of my girlfriends who managed to diffuse me before I got too excited over it. But STILL. When this kid got off the ice, he got high-fived, can you believe it? None of the coaches on the ice saw anything happen either which was pretty disturbing.
So I was talking to my little brother who is 23 and I told him about it. He made me realize that this stuff is going to happen all their lives, whether it be in hockey or just on the playground and that I have to let them experience a certain amount of it. Ok, ok, ok. I only know one way to parent, and that's with the paws of Mama Bear firmly planted on my babies making sure they are protected. Wake up call for me!
So I will keep on being a hockey mom and I'm going to try really hard to let my boys experience the game without imposing my feelings and emotions onto them. I will deal with issues as they arise and at the end of the night, I will make sure to say my prayers to which will hopefully give me the necessary faith, wisdom and strengh to get me through the season!!! Day by day. Game by game.

Purging

2008-09-01T21:39:00.002-05:00

So I spent most of my day on Sunday purging my basement. Wow what a job. I figure that I had better get a move on it before they switch the dumpsters and I'm stuck with this stuff for another 6+ months. I ventured down there, armed with a box of heavy duty, extra large garbage bags, a gi-normus cup of coffee and all the sanity that I could muster up. Sigh. So began my journey.... I take this journey about every 6 months, honestly. Still I surface with an overstuffed garbage bag of trash and yet another one of donatables. It's ridiculous, actually. I am saddened that so much money is wasted on toys that just get piled, one on top of another, until my children are so overstimulated that they don't even go down there! (I can only assume that is the reason, anyway!). So, after mourning the loss of hundreds of dollars, I've decided that my children DO NOT need this much crap! I continued my purging, and am still going at it. So far, I have 2 extra large garbage bags of trash, and 2 extra large garbage bags of toys that looked like they might be a good idea at the time of purchase. (Just so I don't get some kind of complex, the trash consists of paper, paper, paper from endless amounts of my children's doodling, toys that have lost parts, etc. as they are, under no circumstance, allowed food or beverage down there!)
So now what do I do with the assortment of goods that won't end up in the trash bin? Do we donate? Freecycle? My boys want to have a yard sale! Right! I can't see that one actually happening! My thought is that we will likely donate it to VV, and this Christmas, along with the shoeboxes that we stuff, and the names that the boys choose off of the Christmas tree for those who will otherwise have no gift under the tree, they are, again going to go through their stuff and donate. Don't even get me started on the commercialism of Christmas!
I will keep you posted and let you know where I end up...wish me Godspeed gettin out of this journey!

Too Much???

2008-08-24T15:21:00.002-05:00

I have taken a brief respite from putting away the 5 baskets of laundry that have been sitting here waiting for me for 3 days now to ponder "out loud". When all of my laundry is caught up and put away, it's then that I realize just how much the four of us have. So I find myself asking, just how much is necessary??? How many pairs of pants, socks, underwear, how many t-shirts, sweat shirts and other miscellaneous gear does ONE person really need?? I seriously have a skewed opinion of this, and seem to think that we are needing to stock up enough clothing for 365 days of wear, just in case our washing machine breaks down and we've no access to clean, fresh clothing. Ugh!
I seem to do a "purge" of my closets, once ever other month...but I can justify almost every article of clothing hanging or neatly folded. You just never know, right? Now not only am I spending copius amounts of time doing laundry, changing out the folded goods to make sure that everything is rotated and gets it turn, I am also spending too much money purchasing more and more and more clothes hangers. Is this the definition of insanity??